Friday, 24 September 2010

Drug addicts apparently delighted as grunts to be added to dictionary.


London's drug addicts were delighted today wiht news tat their monosylabic, neanderthal grunts are to be added to the new edition of the oxford english dictionary.

Additions such as "ugh" (a casual agreement), ngh, (a disgusted rejection) and bleurgh (a warning of imminent vomitus) are to be officially recognised by the venerable institution from next month in a move which industry insders have branded "foul", "ridiculous" and "clear evidence that the OED have broken their Xbox".

Drug addicts throughout London seemed to be thrilled with the news, although the contorted facial expressions researchers took to mean happiness could well have been some sort of stroke kicking in, admitted Eduardo Rodrigalvarez of the institute of Drug Addict Control.

"It's hard to tell with junkies" said the researcher. "Sometimes you think they're smiling at you but really it's just gas. Or them recollecting a particualry satisfying hit of battery acid or whatever.

"On the whole they seemed pretty happy with the news though. Bless em "

Renowned poet and over-articulator William John Balmer of Some God-awfull town in Scotland, said yesterday "While i can ken their reasons for adding these dubiously succinct words into their compendium of lexiography, i can't see the sense in pandering to a demographic which, lets face it, cant even afford to buy the sun, let alone a dictionary"

"What they should be doing is putting some of the new words i've been inventing into it."

"I've got loads."

The latest edition of the Oxford English Dictionary will hit shops later this year.

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