The snack-baby reserves held at Downing Street have reached an all time low this morning, after the traditional festival of pagan worship, infant burger-eating and outright, satanic ritual was pounced upon by an over-enthusiastic coalition government.
Nick Clegg reportedly led the baby-eating, in what many observers are speculating may be 'a callous attempt to win favour form his Tory over-lords'.
A source close to the deputy Prime Minister said, "Clegg was going mental for the baby burgers, scoffing them down like they were fucking vol-au-vents... the slag.
'Anyone would think he was gunning for promotion or something'
David Cameron reportedly moderated his usual infant-bloodlust for the occasion, after kissing Clegg gently on the forehead and saying 'its your time to dine on the flesh of the young now my prince.'
He added, 'Eat heartily, you need the strength.'
...
The tradition of eating the young of the poor reportedly dates back to the days of Oliver Cromwell, who used to spend most of December riding around Ireland on a huge stallion, mercilessly harvesting the offspring of famine-struck peasants.
Critics of the tradition have condemned it as 'barbaric', a charge which was summarily ignored by recently-wound-in whipping boy Vince Cable.
The Business Secretary said in a statement yesterday, 'Well, clearly eating children isn’t an ideal way to spend the holidays but... well, it is tradition. And, you know... I love all that.'
‘The boys need feeding don’t they? Who are we to say if it’s right or wrong?
He added. 'But then... does anyone care what i think any more?
‘No?
'Rightyo.'
...
The tradition of eating the young of the poor reportedly dates back to the days of Oliver Cromwell, who used to spend most of December riding around Ireland on a huge stallion, mercilessly harvesting the offspring of famine-struck peasants.
Critics of the tradition have condemned it as 'barbaric', a charge which was summarily ignored by recently-wound-in whipping boy Vince Cable.
The Business Secretary said in a statement yesterday, 'Well, clearly eating children isn’t an ideal way to spend the holidays but... well, it is tradition. And, you know... I love all that.'
‘The boys need feeding don’t they? Who are we to say if it’s right or wrong?
He added. 'But then... does anyone care what i think any more?
‘No?
'Rightyo.'
Enthusiastic words written in this blog helped me to enhance my skills as well as helped me to know how I can help myself on my own. I am really glad to come at this platform.
ReplyDeleteBangkok’s Alternative Rooftop Bar