Self control, moderation and common decency are all expected to be next in line for cuts in a range of new austerity measures planned for 2011, according to Government sources.
With the economy in tatters and people apparently increasingly unable to look after themselves anymore the proposals are being heralded by government observers as ‘the next logical step in a series of moves designed to slowly erode the moral constitution of an already disgusting country.’
The source of the cuts appears to be the office of government jester Vince Cable who is apparently attempting to consolidate his laughable position through increasingly bizarre policy moves.
Michael Emerson, moral adviser to the previous government said, ‘This sort of move is only to be expected.
‘The government simply cannot be expected to keep funding outdated concepts like self control. They are anachronistic hangovers to a bygone era.
‘While we’re at it what about generosity, social awareness and compassion?
‘I’m sure we could do without fucking compassion’
London based scumbag Andrew Clark said yesterday ‘I’m not really too bothered about it all to be honest. I’ve never really had much truck for self control anyway. Why just yesterday i drank non-stop for 12 hours, then woke up my entire family by tripping over the cat and shouting loudly at Match Of The Day.’
‘Any move to increase this sort of cavalier behaviour can only be a good thing’
He added, ‘Now, where’s my fucking meths?’
With the economy in tatters and people apparently increasingly unable to look after themselves anymore the proposals are being heralded by government observers as ‘the next logical step in a series of moves designed to slowly erode the moral constitution of an already disgusting country.’
The source of the cuts appears to be the office of government jester Vince Cable who is apparently attempting to consolidate his laughable position through increasingly bizarre policy moves.
Michael Emerson, moral adviser to the previous government said, ‘This sort of move is only to be expected.
‘The government simply cannot be expected to keep funding outdated concepts like self control. They are anachronistic hangovers to a bygone era.
‘While we’re at it what about generosity, social awareness and compassion?
‘I’m sure we could do without fucking compassion’
London based scumbag Andrew Clark said yesterday ‘I’m not really too bothered about it all to be honest. I’ve never really had much truck for self control anyway. Why just yesterday i drank non-stop for 12 hours, then woke up my entire family by tripping over the cat and shouting loudly at Match Of The Day.’
‘Any move to increase this sort of cavalier behaviour can only be a good thing’
He added, ‘Now, where’s my fucking meths?’
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