A crisp wrapper that allegedly once belonged to murdered girl Karen Yeates has been the centre of a media shitstorm today after police confirmed that they believe the tragic 25 year old may have at some point eaten it's contents.
A spokesman for the metropolitan police said this morning, "We can confirm that we are investigating the late contents of the crisp packet. From the colour and brand, green and walkers respectively, we can only assume that it was salt and vinegar. However, there is a possibility that it is an old 'smiths' packet masquerading as a walkers, in which case maybe cheese and onion?
'Frankly, I’m not even sure what my job is anymore.'
The furore over the crisp packet is the latest in a long line of intensive investigations into pretty much nothing at all. Earlier this week police were puzzled over Yeates' presence at an off licence, and earlier this week there was speculation that Yeates may, at one point or another, bought a pizza. or something.
Police commentator, Clancy Disraeli said 'Just what the police think they're going to gleam from this crisp packet investigation, i don't know'
'The media are all over it though. Presumably, despite the Wiki leaks thing still going on, a massive fuck-off flood/forest fire combo potentially wreaking havok in Australia and New years eve happening literally tonight, they feel that its a bit of a slow news period.
'The fucking idiots.'
A spokesman for the metropolitan police said this morning, "We can confirm that we are investigating the late contents of the crisp packet. From the colour and brand, green and walkers respectively, we can only assume that it was salt and vinegar. However, there is a possibility that it is an old 'smiths' packet masquerading as a walkers, in which case maybe cheese and onion?
'Frankly, I’m not even sure what my job is anymore.'
The furore over the crisp packet is the latest in a long line of intensive investigations into pretty much nothing at all. Earlier this week police were puzzled over Yeates' presence at an off licence, and earlier this week there was speculation that Yeates may, at one point or another, bought a pizza. or something.
Police commentator, Clancy Disraeli said 'Just what the police think they're going to gleam from this crisp packet investigation, i don't know'
'The media are all over it though. Presumably, despite the Wiki leaks thing still going on, a massive fuck-off flood/forest fire combo potentially wreaking havok in Australia and New years eve happening literally tonight, they feel that its a bit of a slow news period.
'The fucking idiots.'
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