Polls yesterday revealed that 70% of Londoners are still managing to keep up the pretense of actually caring about athletics.
30% of men and 35% of women told pollsters that they would like the Olympic stadium to continue to be used for athletics after the 2012 games have finished and a staggering 70% of people lied through their teeth in saying they would watch athletics even if the Olympics weren’t being held in the city.
Statistician Gary Holmes said yesterday, “We shouldn’t get too excited about these results- Londoners have a fine and rich history of lying to themselves about matters like this.
“What they apparently fail to realize is that we already have two perfectly good stadiums at Wembley and Crystal Palace and, well, lets face it. No-one ever fucking goes to them do they?”
“What’s astounding is the fact that they apparently think that the games will change that, despite the obvious truth that the minute the games end, they’ll all go back to their lives of masturbation, alcoholism and casual racism.”
Meanwhile, Football clubs all over the city were eyeing the soon to be derelict stadium like tramps inspecting a bit of rotten meat, licking their lips and salivating wildly at the prospect of occupying a hideously unsuitable stadium for their sloppy brand of football.
Tottenham in particular are apparently quite keen to take over the property in a move that outsiders are calling “just mental”.
A spokesman for spurs was unavailable for comment.
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