Monday 17 January 2011

Shagging, doing drugs and whining ‘only part of our strategy’ claim eco-warriors.


The activist networks recently infiltrated by renegade cop Mark Kennedy 'do not just consist of a bunch of rag tag hippies with nothing better to do than get high, complain about power stations and shag and that', according to sources close to the eco-warrior leadership.

Despite all evidence to the contrary, the source also denies claims that the girls who entice male activists to protests- often in far flung regions of the UK and beyond- are not just drug addled sluts.

In fact, we have been told, they are incredibly hard working members of society and a vital functioning part of society.

"These girls perform a vital function in enticing other hippies to these camps and whatnot' said the source.

"And lets face it, without the prospect of a bit of nookie no-one would sign up to sit outside a power station for 72 hours, complaining and drinking weak tea

"Not when we could be back at home, wanking over pictures of Mark Thomas and discussing how much better a job we could do of running the country."

The revelations, which will presumably be ignored by anyone with a modicum of common sense, come hot on the tail of news that Mark Kennedy, nee Stone, shagged some welsh bird and, by all accounts, really enjoyed his brief stint as a professional JCB botherer.

More revelations into the utter mundanity of Stone's existence and the overrated importance of the eco-warrior movement are expected to be big news for some time. Pretty much every media outlet has announced plans to bludgeon the nation over head with literally anything vaguely related to the sorry mess until around about 2012.

Media observer Hans Bleakman said, "So that's good

He added, "Anyone fancy entering into some sot of suicide pact?"

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