Sunday 23 January 2011

'Official Being a Dickhead's Cool Party' called off amid grave fears for misled youths


In an shocking turnaround, makers of the viral 'Being a Dickhead's Cool' video this week called on idiots to assemble at a predictable 'secret east london venue' on 10 February 2011.


In a reckless act of greed the makers cast away their only redeeming shred of irony, urging shameless, Mac-wielding wimps everywhere to convene at this pitiful affair.


Organisers, 'The Grand Spectacular', stabbed their sorry following in the back, stating on the event page 'You tried to pretend it wasn't about you. Now it's time to party because let's be honest, we all love our lives as dickheads'.


"They have the neck to charge £20 entry, or £5 for those dressed like dickheads, whilst offering nothing more than a few pitiful cunts playing 'vegan crunk' exclaimed one reformed 'hipster'.


Police psychologist, Dr. Phil McGraw, explained state concerns, "we've been assessing the movement for some time. The thing is, if these morons do get involved their heads will almost certainly explode. The mind-blowing irony of immersing themselves in the very scene they take pride in detesting is likely to be lethal. They're cunts, but we were obliged, by duty of care or some shit, to intervene."


It emerged that dickhead drones have, in their desperation, been volunteering to a little-known clinical research programme. Sources reveal that tests have been taking place at a London rehabilitation centre for months.


"When Alex Zane came in he was a mess. He got through the first step - admitting he had a problem - but there was a holy fucking shitstorm when we suggested he change out of his gaudy leggings."


Police fear the facebook-organised event, boasting over 1,100 'attending', may take place despite their intervention. Attend at your peril, dickheads.

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