George Michael is finding it increasingly hard to plan any night out without it ending in some sort of moronic encounter with the law, sources close the deranged 'singer' say.
The Wham star, famous for his penchant for toilet/policeman combos, is reportedly incapable of making any sort of cogent plan for his night-time activities without it ending with him being “behind the wheel, tripping balls” says a pal of the singer.
“George just doesn't get his thrills from a normal night like he used to” say the source.
“Just the other night I went up to him and was all like 'George, do you want to go down to Hampstead Heath toilets and prowl around for elderly men to suck us off?' ...you know... like any normal person would.
“We'd hardly even finished putting our leather trousers on when he started thumbing through an old copy of Auto Trader whole fiddling around himself and phoning dealers to get his hands on some whacky baccy”
“I'm getting a bit worried.”
The revelations explain somewhat Michael's motivations for ending a night out last month by careening into a branch of Snappy Snaps while, once again, under the influence of cannabis.
The Star, set to appear before magistrates on 24th August for dangerous driving and possession of Class C drugs, is said to be considering rehab for an increasingly prolific penchant for combining drugs and driving.
East 17's Brian Harvey, a friend of the star and another celebrity with a hilarious tendency for driving while completely off his tits said, “Yeah, George has got a problem, sure. But so what?
“When you've tried all the drugs and that under the sun, sometimes the only way to get a good kick out of life is to get loaded at six in the morning, get into a battered old Cortina and try and run yourself over or whatever.
“He's got my full support in this and all related endeavours”
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