Jesus makes surprise appearance at Manor House party, annoys many.

Our saviour and Son of God, Jesus Christ made a shock appearance at a warehouse party this weekend.

Treating all present at the drug-fuelled shindig to choice nuggets of holy wisdom, Jesus managed to kill the buzzes of no less than 15 people over the duration of his hour long lecture on “pretty much anything On which I can be bothered to have an opinion”.

Onlooker and party fiend Stuart Konchanski said “I've not been to church for a while so it was kinda hard to work out whether It was Jesus or not.

“In all fairness though, it had to be right? I mean, Otherwise why would he think everyone wanted to know his jive fucking opinions.

“Only Jesus would have the fucking nerve.”

In one particularly scintillating sermon on “How To Sort Out The Palestinian/Israeli Conflict Like, Fairly And That” he managed to give 3 people boredom-aneurysms in one 2 minute sentence. A feat which places him squarly at the top of the Dangerously Irritating Bill-Board.

The success in the boredom stakes places him above reigning champion, Dave, the 10^th Incarnation of Buddha, who has held the boredom championship for 7 months after February's speech on “How We're Like All Connected Man”, hospitalised three people and permanently disabled one.

Professional party cynic and curmudgeonly Boredom expert Ted Willis made the following statement: “He wasn't fucking Jesus, He was from Basildon.

“Nice opinions though. Real fucking deep.”

He added, “What people fail to realise is that boring party-goers to death is an extremely dangerous thing to do.

“Regardless of how holy you think you are, keep your opinions to yourself. Someone could get hurt”.

Jesus will be appearing all his week at the Nazareth Apollo. Tickets are available from all good Churches.