Thursday 19 August 2010

Wyclef Jean tries hand at brain surgery.

Fugees start Wyclef Jean has been attempting brain surgery in the latest hilarious development of his ego-maniacal sojourn into the world of delusion.


Jean is said to have broken into a hospital in Los Angeles late last night and tinkered around with the innards of a number of patients before being caught by an orderly, scalpel in hand and yelling something about being “a God amongst men”.


After tiring of his demented attempt to run for President of Haiti, Jean is now said to be moving on to more far-flung ambitions, starting with neuro-surgery but also including, sources reveal, rocket science, nano-technology and, perhaps most bizarrely of all, attempting to record another mediocre record.


“Wyclef's been out of control for some time now” said a source close to the star.


“He's like a child. One minute he wants to be a deep sea diver, the next he wants to be a helicopter. The problem is though that he's got the money and the wherewithal to actually attempt to make these idiotic ambitions come to fruition.”


A recovering victim of his attempt at brain surgery said last night, “Wyclef John is a very dangerous man.”


“We can only hope that he eventually runs out of momentum.”


He added, “If everyone stops buying his records and leaves him alone he might fuck off and stop bothering people.


“If not... well, the blood will very much be on our hands”


“I Am The Second Coming Motherfucker” By Wyclef Jean is released later this month on Mentalist Records.


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