The City of London Police's 'Operation Cyborg' has produced four arrests in what observers are hailing a triumph of “the rule of law over the usual background noise of crime we thought we just had to deal with”.
Police arrested four people connected to ticketing website Gigsport.com last night for the fraudulent sale of tickets to such awful gigs as Roger Waters, U2 and the ever fascinating V festival.
Justice expert Steve McDaily said “This is a landmark case. It appears that the police are finally doing something about ticket touting and, moreover, actually doing some work for a fucking change.
“What's next? Firemen actually putting out fires? Mental”
A spokesman for the City of London Police said, “Yeah, we arrested some people, and what? I suppose you're gonna get me to try and return your VCR now are you?
“Fuck off”
Criminals around London stopped battering single mothers senseless with with their just-stolen consumer electronics as news spread of the newly-active police force.
Mick Daly, an accomplished car jacker from Lewisham said “This is a fucking nightmare. I hope the police know what an inconvenience this is going to be for me. I mean, what am I supposed to do now? Actually try and hide my crimes?
“Shit, I might as well work in telesales”
In other news, Tony Blair fled the country in the small hours of last night muttering something about 'laying low until the heat's off”
A spokesman for the former PM insisted that the plume of smoke seen over his home counties mansion was nothing to do with a last minute document purge and was 'completely, totally innocent”.
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